Entitlement Mentality

Marie and I were discussing some family-based current events. The kids were completely disinterested in our conversation, but I thought it was important to bring the Artist into it.

She regularly hears the following exclamation from me:

I

HATE

LAZY!!!

(with the dreaded three exclamation points)

I do. I really do. Laziness, to me, is when someone chooses not to do something they are capable of doing, or chooses not to attempt to do something. Rather, they will be content with doing nothing, even if it is a detriment to them to do nothing. Or worse, they will wait until someone else does it for them.

Marie and I stopped our conversation, and I turned to the Artist, asking, "Have you heard of the term 'entitlement mentality'?" She gave that weird, deer in headlights look, and said, "I don't think so". We introduced the concept to her, explaining the concept in terms of money.

Dad: Let's say I gave you money every day. You didn't do anything to deserve it, but I continued to give it to you.

Artist: Okay.

Dad: Then one day, I didn't give it to you. If you are like most people, you would say, "Hey! Where is my money?" You would be expecting it, even though you didn't earn it.

Artist: Oh

Dad: Is that good?

Artist: No

Dad: Well, that is very common. There are people who are either too lazy to do something for themselves, or they find someone who is willing to do it for them. They come to expect the kindness ("charity", "love", pick your word) to continue. And when it doesn't, look out! They will get angry, upset, let you know that you don't care about them anymore, you're not fulfilling your 'responsibility' and all that stuff.

From there, Marie, the Artist and I discussed how this happens in families, in public, and even in churches. People become very comfortable having someone else do something for them, never attempting to do it for themselves yet getting angry with others when those others stop doing for them.

It's bad, spiritually speaking, because people become lazy and envious of others that have more. It's bad, socially speaking, because people harbor inappropriate expectations of their community, their church, and their government (ick - the worst of all!), and spend more time determining what they can get away with instead of how they need to grow.

We were pretty blunt with the Artist. How do you discuss these topics with your children?

To My Artist

Dearest Artist,

Today is a very special day for you. Your age no longer has only one digit in it; it now has two.


I wish you a very happy, fun and wonderful 10th birthday. Double digit ages mean lots of neat things. Your mind continues to develop, and makes you think some things your little brother says sound really, really silly. They weren't silly five years ago when you said them, but your brain now realizes that they were pretty silly.

Your body continues to develop, too. You may find that walls jump out at you once in a while (maybe Emily at church can explain that phenomenon to you), and the growing pains will still occur. Other things will change that you and Mommy will have plenty of chances to talk about, too.

Mommy and I need to help you pay more attention to, and understand, things that are going on in the world around you. Some of them will sound really ugly to you, while others will sound really exciting. After we talk about some things, you will probably say, "Why did they tell me that?" How do I know this? Because I asked myself the same question after my mom and dad talked with me many times.

The way you have fun will change, too. Sooner or later, you may not want to play the same games with your brother, or even with me. But that's okay, because we will have new games to play instead. And maybe we can work more on playing basketball this spring and summer, and help you become really good at making baskets.

For everything that will change, there are many things that will remain the same. I will expect you to trust, listen to, and obey your parents, grandparents and anyone else who we allow to have charge over you. I will expect you to respect other people and their property. I will also expect you to give your best effort in everything you attempt, whether it is in piano practice, tae kwon do, baking, or anything else you want to try.

Mommy and I will always pray for you to be safe, healthy, and faithful. I will always be there for you, even if it means you have to call me on the phone when I travel to Florida. I doesn't matter whether you want to tell me good news, have a question, or are sad. You can always talk to me.

And, finally, Mommy and I will continue to love you as we always have, and always will.

Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Love,
Daddy