How Did That Happen?

What is this?


That's easy. It's a broken one of these:


Which usually sits right here (top left of the body of the bass):


And is used to hold this:


There is another fastener at the bottom of the body, but that one is not relevant to the story.

The useful life of this one fastener came to an end during last night's gig. Not only has this little component resisted gravity just in holding up the bass for the past two-plus years, but it resisted the added force from my jumping up and down during a number of songs that a bandmate of mine says have "jump value".

We were playing Take Me Out, the last song of our second set. On the jump value scale from 1-10, I say it ranks an 11.



About 1:10 into the song, right before we lead into the first verse, it happened! The fastener broke. It wasn't that the screw holding in the fastener was stripped and fell out of the hole. The fastener snapped. One piece went somewhere - where, I don't know. The other piece was still screwed into the bass itself. The accompanying part of the fastener, which is clipped to the strap, shaved through the part that was mounted on the bass.

Hence, the strap was no longer connected to the bass. The body of the bass started dropping, and I had to catch it. You're talking about 12-14 lbs of unbalanced weight, with the heavy part - the body - being the unheld part. Not only did I have to make sure I didn't hit any wrong notes as it was falling, I had to make sure the body didn't hit the ground - all with my weaker hand, which is loosely surrounding the top of the fretboard, at the position farthest away from the center of gravity.

Left hand works as planned. No bad notes, no dinged instruments.

But wait, there's more. I saw what happened to the fastener immediately, and knew there was nothing - NOTHING! - I could do during the song to fix it during the song. Yikes!

Having been on all types of stages - from making presentations in front of corporate officers, to performing in rock and jazz bands - I knew the show must go on. Thankfully, I was positioned right next to our speakers, so I was able to stretch up one of my legs onto the speaker cabinet, and prop up the bass on my knee. Okay, so that only took half the first verse straighten out.

Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to co-lead on the vocals on this song, too. So much for the first verse. But one of our singers had presence of mind to move my mic where I could use it, and I was able perform the rest of the song well, but without all the requisite jumping. It's a hard song not to move around to, but I did it.

During our break, I took off the fasteners, leaving only the screw used to attach the fastener to the bass. I attached the strap to that screw. This wasn't a great fix, but it mostly got me through the night. My focus on the strap did cause me to forget the first verse of Hang On Sloopy. (No Polly, that's not a reason for us to stop playing the song. Sorry.) No one cued me, because I'm known in the band for being the lyric guy; no one thinks I ever, ever forget lyrics.

Thankfully, I had all the proper hardware at home, and replaced the fasteners this morning. All is in working order again, ready for hundreds of jumps!

Come see us if you can. We are playing at Blue Canyon in Twinsburg on April 12 (a week from today), then at Flyers in Parma Heights on Friday, April 25. Come to think of it, I think that's the second anniversary of Running in Circles being on the gig circuit. Way cool!

In a Nutshell

If you've never read the daily comic Non Sequitur, I think this strip is a good introduction. Enjoy!

That's Entertainment!

After not paying attention to the Super Bowl hype, I got home from band practice just in time to sit in front of the tube with the whole family and watch "the big event". The Engineer, front-runner that he is, was rooting for the Patriots. The Artist didn't really care about the game; she was rooting for the commercials. Marie was doing the same, conducting research for the next day's post.

In a post I submitted a couple weeks ago, I said I didn't care who won. As the game went on, though, I found myself slowly getting excited about the opportunity for...for...for...

AN UPSET!

As the Giants hung on via their stifling defense, I couldn't help but start rooting for them. After watching them play the Patriots so well during the last week of the season, I thought they had a chance; they wouldn't be blown out, but I didn't know if they could win. But, as they kept thwarting the Patriot's offense, and Eli Manning kept not looking like an idiot (see his last three years to understand this), I grew more excited for the Giants.

Enter the fourth quarter. New England took the lead with less than three minutes left. You could even hear Marie groaning, "Oh no, not the Patriots!" As the Giants took over on offense, I thought, "They have enough time, they don't need to rush." They earned a couple first downs, then got themselves into a third down situation when this happened:



Awesome. The most awesome play I have ever seen in a Super Bowl. Probably the best non-trick play I've ever seen. David Tyree caught the ball with his right hand AND HIS HELMET! Talk about concentration. Talk about strength. Wow!

At that point, I knew they COULD win. Then, with less than 40 seconds left in the game, the Giants scored a touchdown, and stopped the Pats from scoring again. Game, set, match: New York Giants! I actually ended up rooting for a New York team. Imagine that!

All over a game I didn't care about two weeks ago. It was the best Super Bowl I have seen in my lifetime, all 39.912328767123288 years of it. I guess I waltzed into the den thinking, as some of my band fans say, "I'm coming to watch you play; DON'T SUCK!" Well, the Giants didn't. Neither did the Pats. The better team, on that day, won the game.

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Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers played an excellent halftime show yesterday. They sounded great. Looks are a concern, though. I wasn't sure if I was watching Tom Petty



Or Red Green


Maybe they are related.

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And finally, here are the songs Running in Circles chose to learn. Or, will at least attempt at our upcoming practices:

*1. Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects

2. Over You - Daughtry

*3. Authority Song - John Mellencamp

4. Love Song - Sara Barellies

5. Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) - Nine Days

*6. Anyway You Want It - Journey

*7. Talk Dirty To Me - Posion

8. You And Your Hand - Pink

9. Lovefool - Cardigans

10. Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer

*11. Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

12. Who Says You Can't Go Home - Bon Jovi

13. Life Is A Highway - Rascal Flats

14. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

15. Fire - Red Hot Chili Peppers/Jimi Hendrix

16. Give A Little Bit - Goo Goo Dolls / Supertramp

17. Saturday Night Is Alright For Fighting - Elton John

Songs marked with (*) are songs that, for various reasons, I am ready to perform.

Lot of variety, although I think we are becoming more of a family/party band than a bar band. We'll see where that leads us. (p.s. It is not worth watching the RHCP version of Fire. Trust me on this one.)

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So, when's my birthday? Marie, the kids, and anyone with our church's calendar cannot venture a guess. (That includes you, Scott!!!)

Eight Points!

Our help desk manager got into the holiday spirit last week. One day, she wore a red cap with deer antlers sticking out. While walking through the halls, I noticed her hat, and commented to a passer-by who happened to be a hunter.

I said, "Look, a ten point doe!".

He looked, and said, "No, it's only eight points."

As I walked further down the hall, he caught up to me and said, "Hey, Rick, doe don't have antlers." I said, "I know. Just making sure you were paying attention." :-)

A Quipper News Service Exclusive - 12-19-2007

EXCLUSIVE!

The federal government, in order to cut down the occurrence of knife usage in cafeterias, kitchens and restaurants across America, passed a bill scheduled to take effect on February 29, 2008. If signed by President Bush, all food placed before the public would need to be presented so that using a knife is no longer necessary.

Congress recognizes that this issue cuts to the heart of the ever-increasing violence issues in schools and elsewhere. "This issue has teeth," said one congressman.

President Bush is expected to sign the bill. His spokesman said, "There is no need to slice up this bill."

"We are incisively following this concern," said Dee Sagust, chairwoman of the nonpartisan organization Parents for Bliss. "There is sharp division between us and our opponents. We believe no child should be put in a position of hurting themselves or others. The temptation to do evil here is too great. It's not like we are talking about condoms; we are talking about kitchen utensils."

Congress has not yet dealt with the issue of knives used in meal prep. As a long term resolution, Congress believes that serving only pureed food is the safe option. WalMart is pre-emptively bidding to provide below-cost pureeing plants in China, while Tyson is offering to provide the service inexpensively by hiring only aliens with criminal records to perform the work.

An adult's eye view of beef puree, rare

The prickly issue of violence caused by fork tines will also be eliminated by the longer term solution.

Sagust says, "As long as people only use spoons, the world will be a much safer place."

The food service industry is carving out a response, as restaurants have the most to lose by this proposal. On the other hand, Gerber and Beech-Nut are enthralled with the new bill.

EXCLUSIVE!

Gateway Crime

I broke the law today. Yes, I admit it.

Since I had a vacation day today, I decided to stay up late last night, learn some new songs, and traipse around my favorite blogs and sports web sites. I finally went to bed around 2:00am...

...which meant I slept in until around 9:00am. Being garbage day, I needed to take the garbage out.

Before 8:00am.

In our suburb, it is illegal to place your garbage on the lawn after 8:00am on garbage day.

So what does this crime lead to? Not taking out the garbage at all?

(snicker)

Selfish Desires, Part II

To: The Cleveland Indians
From: Quipper
Subject: Winning the ALCS

Dear Cleveland Indians,

Thank you for reading and responding so positively to my previous request. It was a pleasure to watch you clinch the division title live from Jacobs field. I also enjoyed watching you take it to the Yankees in four games in the ALDS. It was great to hear the silence in Yankee Stadium after you won game four and eliminated them from the playoffs.

I have been paying close attention to the ALCS, too. Always near a radio or TV, it is tough for me to concentrate on anything else during your games against the BoSox. While the first game was kind of a bummer, the second game gave me hope that you can achieve success in the ALCS, and advance to the World Series.

Running in Circles was scheduled to play at Spectators Grille last night, and we were to start performing after Game 2 of the ALCS. Well, you can guess how that went. The game ended at 1:44am - wow that's late! We didn't perform, but being the homers that we are, we cheered you on through each inning. We were excited that you pulled out the victory and are coming home with home field advantage in what is now a five game series.

I have a new request for you. The band is scheduled to play at McCarthy's Ale House this coming Saturday. I understand that, if the ALCS goes to game 6, the game will be played on Saturday, most likely starting at 8:20pm. This ALCS is a heavyweight battle; like with the ALDS, none of the games are fast, but all run close to four hours. And, if you go into extra innings again, who knows how long the game could run?

I'm sorry for babbling a bit, but here is my question: Could you close out the BoSox in Cleveland, and win the series in five games? It seems a bit improbable, but you have had a heck of a season so far. I want to celebrate the Tribe's ascension to the World Series. I just want to do it on the night of October 18 - or, shall I say, the early morning of October 19. :-)

Thank you. Go Tribe!

Selfish Desires

To: The Cleveland Indians
From: Quipper
Subject: Clinching the playoffs

Dear Cleveland Indians,

As a lifelong fan of you, my hometown team, I am excited that the team is ever-so-close to clinching the Central Division pennant. I have waited a decade for this to happen. I remember the Tribe-Mariners series in 2001, when Robbie Alomar didn't give his all and potentially caused us to lose the series to Seattle. I watched the 1995 and 1997 World Series, heartbroken but not crushed. I watched Mark Shapiro trade Bartolo Colon, but knew it was the right thing to do. Others complained, but I bought into the plan.

I strayed slightly last year, seeing that the whole package wasn't there. It was not hangover from the season ending meltdown in 2005; I liked the team, but something just didn't seem right.

This year is different. There have been points of frustration, but I kept on listening. The family even afforded to attend one game this year. Our 5-yo boy got to see Jacobs Field for the first time. We had fun watching our first baseman bat, having great call-response fun with "Garko!"..."Polo!" I eagerly await the reduction of the Magic Number from three to zero, and anticipate celebrating that success with my family.

However, I have an issue. You see, as much as I want you to clinch this weekend, my band, Running in Circles, has a gig on Saturday night. We are supposed to start at 10pm. The locale is a very popular watering hole, and has televisions set up all over the place so patrons can watch the home team play, no matter what the sport.

In these situations, the bars usually delay the start of the gig until the game is over. Knowing how this works, I imagine that, if you clinch on Saturday night, we won't start until 11:30, maybe midnight, because of all the celebrating. I won't be at home, and won't be able to celebrate with my family.

In conclusion, seeing how (mostly) loyal I have been to you, can you please do me a favor and not clinch until Sunday? Your consideration would be most appreciated.

Thank you. Go Tribe, but don't go too quickly.

{snicker}


Update: they got my memo. Ha ha! :-)

Warning Signals

Every industry and work environment has them. You know, those little phrases, statements or questions that, when asked, let you know exactly how little someone knows about what you do.

In my line of work - system development - you hear these doozies:

• "But it's just a one line coding change, isn't it?"
• "Can't you just change a couple lines in a table?"
• "Can't twice as many of you do it in half the time?"
• "We can just do the same thing we did ...."
  

On one hand, you want to whack the people upside the head with a 2"x4". On the other hand, you want to pat them on the head and say, "Don't worry, one day you, too, will become smart."

What statements do you hear, in your profession or place of employment, that let you know someone knows not what you really do?

End Times

Prognostications, made by prognosticators

These guys always get it wrong
They set dates, miss dates, revise dates

They say they had to tinker with their research, their translation, their computations.
It's never that they really don't know and can't tell.

They reassess and start again,
As though they are perfect and we just don't understand.



Oh, I'm not talking about evangelists. I'm talking about climate change prophets.

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And by the way, why wouldn't the environmentalists be for reformed Christianity, American style? Specifically relative to the rapture? After all, if the rapture is real, a la Left Behind style, millions upon millions of human beings would be removed from the earth, leaving only the truly intelligent (i.e. the unsaved) who would know best how to raise children and reduce CO2. And they wouldn't have those pesky Christians to deal with. :-)

They would also have a better human/animal/vegetation ratio. After all, they think the optimal planet population would only be a couple million people, don't they?

Virtual Pastors

Wow! And I thought this was just fantasy. (Snicker)

I first saw the story at Locusts & Honey.

Statute of Limitations?

I was talking to a co-worker this morning, and he wryly injected a few lyrics into our conversation. I answered his original intent, then exclaimed:

Oh, that was from Radar Love, wasn't it?!?

He grinned, and said that it was. How smart of me to recognize his wit. :-)

We started talking about Golden Earring, the band that recorded Radar Love. We could only remember two of their songs, Radar Love and Twilight Zone. We couldn't remember when they were released (see here for details), but got thinking...

Two hit singles...

At least a decade apart (or so we thought at the time)...

If you didn't listen to music regularly, you might not even know that the band performed both songs...

Hmmm.

What's the statute of limitations on being called a "one hit wonder"? Is it possible to be a "one hit wonder" twice-over?

Inquiring minds want to know. Do you know of any other bands like that?

W.I.P.

I'm so excited! I am preparing 4-6 posts that are chock full of great commentary, rhetoric and wit.

I'm having trouble finishing all of them. I don't know if spring fever hit me, the nickel-and-dime home improvements consumed me, or the truly new and exciting challenges at work enveloped me. Regardless, my posts are in varying states of completion - from having an outline to tying up loose ends.

Lotsa input...no output.

Is anyone else going through this right now?

No, I'm Yoda

Some people who view this blog might not like this thought, but...

I am Yoda! Don't let anyone else tell you that they are. LOL!