Eighteen!

May 25, 1991

Seems like a ways back, but it's always fresh in my mind. It was an 80+ degree, 95% humidity day. The Cleveland Cavaliers were in the playoffs. My buddies and I were sneaking off to find a TV showing the Cavs playoff games. But it wasn't the temperature, the humidity or the Cavs that make that day special.

May 25, 1991. Eighteen years ago, it was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. This year, May 25 is Memorial Day.

Lots of things have changed since then. Beer commercials show guys sneaking off during parties to find a TV showing their sports games. The Cavs are back in the playoffs on a consistent basis. And the Cleveland temperatures still reach the mid- to upper-80s with a significant dose of humidity added.

Eighteen years ago, I was in a limo with my brother and buddies, sneaking a peak on the limo TV of the Cavs playoff game. A mere hour earlier, I was sweating like crazy through my shirt, cumberbun, and jacket, being wed to my wife in a very hot and muggy church.

One thing hasn't changed. That is the love, adoration and admiration I have for my lovely bride. The Cleveland weather may change every fifteen minutes, but not Marie. She is the most consistent, stable and supportive person I know. She is simply amazing. Marie runs our household, home schools our children, knits like no one else I know, and puts up with me, 24x7. Whether it's ranting and raving about work, talking politics or bands, or just figuring out where we want our life to go, Marie is always there for me. I couldn't have asked for a better helpmeet if I had designed that person from scratch. Who says God doesn't know what He's doing?

Happy Anniversary, Marie. Thank you so much for a wonderful eighteen years. I can't wait for the next eighteen to unfold along with you, side by side. I love you!

Oh No! Four-Oh!

I become another year wiser tomorrow. That officially means I go into mid-life crisis, right? I mean, I think this is the way it's supposed to go. I will get bored with my life, and look for some wild, exhilarating way to get meaning back. It might be a car...a house...another band (lol).

It may be that I get tired of looking out for "number one" and decide, finally, to want to make a difference.

After all, isn't that why David Archuleta sang Imagine and Another Day in Paradise, on the biggest professional music stage in the world, American Idol? (Wait! Before you think Idol is still about the little guy, read here. David A. has a great voice, but he already knows how to play the game; so do his handlers.)

After all, isn't that why Green Day won a Grammy for American Idiot? It was because they wanted to make a difference...they wanted to get Bush out of office, and the lefty entertainment industry loved it. (Do you really think they would have won that Grammy had they written and released American Idiot when Clinton was in office? Oh, yeah, they wouldn't have recorded it...because the right person was in office!)

After all, isn't that why every feel-good show and sporting event talks about how the key actors and athletes are doing things for the community? To show that, no matter how much money they have, they are still helping others?

Well, I'll be forty years old tomorrow. And I am not changing a thing. Here's why:

• I provide for my family, which enables Marie to homeschool our kids.
• The kids get a two-parent, whole family perspective on life that is modeled daily.
• I run the household to have a financial surplus. Debt is low and managed against intermediate term financial needs. If something happens to me, the family is taken care of. Rich? No, not at all. Managed? Yes.
• I excel at my job - at least my latest employee evaluation tells me I do. Marie and the kids hear about what I do. The kids hear about the real life joys and frustrations of the daily grind. They will have no pre-conceived notions about dealing with people as adults.
• Through my bands, I provide a release point for people, including myself. I'm not all buttoned-up in the bands, but get to let go a bit. My kids see that there is a difference between work and play, but that sometimes they commingle, like in the band.
• Marie and I get to raise our kids they way we want.
• I contribute to church and causes where I want and when I want.
• I provide value in places where no monetary exchange occurs. Who cares if I don't do it for Habitat for Humanity or for a political party?
• I am married to a wonderful wife who I can talk to about anything, and who is patient enough to hear me out. At times, that is not an easy thing to do.

What's my point? "Making a difference" has been turned into some romantic, idealistic thing. It's become sexy to make a difference. However, it does not take into account those little, daily, oft-repeated things that we do that make a consistent difference in the lives of those we encounter each and every day of our lives. I am making a difference to my family, my co-workers, my church family and my friends. Sometimes, they don't even know it. Other times, I don't even know it.

And that's the way it should be.

So, I'd like to thank the Academy, my family, and all of you up in the balcony who voted for me to reach my 40th birthday. I couldn't have done it without you. (snicker)

Thank you to all of you who make a difference to me, through your blog posts or your daily interactions. You make life interesting and fun.

Is There a Football Game Tomorrow?

Somebody told me ("you had a boyfriend". Sorry, I couldn't resist.) that a pretty important football game being played tomorrow. Last I recall, it didn't include the Cleveland Browns, so it cannot be all that important.

It has been a busy week, and I actually haven't thought about the game very much, only when asked. Beyond that, it was a typical week:

• Someone in the family was sick (poor Engineer - he's okay now)
• Someone in the family went to the hospital (my mom - she's okay now)
• Construction crew continued the kitchen improvements, which went slower than expected because the crew chief/owner was sick.
• I started working with a consultant/business liaison on the big Finance project at work, then...
• Our parent company asks if they can leverage my consultant's experience on similar projects. Um, that was never part of the deal....

Along with that, I'm learning new songs to play with a second band that will rock out more than Running in Circles, but won't fill the dance floor nearly as much. And, tomorrow we are celebrating my father-in-law's birthday at lunch, then I am leaving the lunch to attend band practice for Running in Circles. Each band mate is bringing a list of songs for the band's consideration, as I mentioned in a prior post. I chose...

I'll let you know which of my songs the band chooses...after the break.

I'll get home from practice between 5:30-6:00pm. Just in time to eat dinner. Then log into work to submit my time sheet and prepare for tomorrow. Then obtain the songs that RIC has chosen to learn. Then start learning them.

Oh, yeah. Is there a football game tomorrow?

------------------------------------------------------

What song contains the lyrics in quotes in the first line of my post?

Oh, the Irony

The Quipper family had a wonderful Christmas. We were a busy crew, but everything went well.

• My brother and his fiancee visited from California. She asked for snow - lots of it - and got her wish. So much that family and friends were joking with her to stop asking for snow. Within 24 hours of their arrival, the snow started falling. So, of course, things needed to reverse as they prepared to go back home. Within 24 hours of their departure, the snow disappeared. Guess when they left? 8am on Christmas morning. Yep, green Christmas. They were able to spend practically the entire Sunday before Christmas with us, and were able to relax for really the first time on their "vacation". Everyone had fun, and Marie did a great job with food prep.
  
• We had our traditional Christmas Eve with the Artist and Engineer. No guests, just us. We had a fun time doing what we do on Christmas Eve, which includes reviewing what we did over the past year and what we want to accomplish next year (I know, that has nothing to do with Christmas, but that's when we do it), attending Divine Service, and opening gifts afterwards. And Marie did a great job with food prep.
  
• We went to Worship Service again on Christmas morning, but not before the kids opened what was left in their stockings by Santa Claus. (Yes, the Artist knows better, but she still plays along for the Engineer.) In the afternoon, both sets of parents and Marie's brother-in-law joined us for good food, fun, and gift opening. And Marie did a great job with food prep.
• On Christmas evening, friends joined us and had a surprise in stow for their children. Their grandma flew in from Florida, and they didn't know it! You should have seen the looks of surprise and joy on the grandkids faces. They loved it, and so did we. And Marie did a great job with food prep. (See the recurring theme?)
  

But, Rick, what about the irony?

I explained the snow irony already; white pre-Christmas, green Christmas. Okay, so Marie called it a brown Christmas. Oh, well. At least we didn't have to shovel the driveway on Christmas as part of visitor prep at the house.

The other irony: I did not use all my vacation time at work this year. Since we are now on a "use it or lose it" policy, I planned as much as I could; however the company changed Christmas Eve and New Years Eve to holidays, so I lost two planned days. What am I doing today? Sitting at home, sick. Doh!

Happy New Year everyone!

Final note: if you are looking for good Christmas music to play throughout the day, and have broadband access, I strongly recommend using Pandora. You can register for free, and set up your own radio stations. I set up a Christmas station by asking for Silent Night, then selecting a version that was sung by a choir. For the rest of the day, my "radio station" only played religion-based Christmas songs (I wouldn't call them all hymns, though); no commercial Christmas songs hit the Quipper Family airwaves. It was a nice touch.

A Pleasant Mistake

I realize that it is only Sunday evening, and Christmas Eve is a day away. Tomorrow is jam packed. I don't plan on hitting the blog, so I would like wish you all a Merry Christmas, and leave you with a pleasant "mistake":

I work with a Puerto Rican gal and an Italian gal in Florida. One is naturalized, and the other is on H1 visa but in the process of being naturalized. Both are professional gals, not too far removed from their native cultures and traditions.

Within the past week, each has notified their peers of their vacation, indicating they would not be in the office until after the new year. They made a "mistake" in preparing their notifications. Both said, as they were taught to say back home:

Happy holydays!

'Twas not a mistake to me. Christmas is a holy day, the day of the birth of our Lord. The unintended message was a comfort in these hectic times, a remembrance of God made man, who died and rose again for our salvation.

Happy Holy Day everyone! Christ, our Savior, is born!

The Big One, Elizabeth! part 2 (The Show)

The lineup for the Hi Fi concert highlighted three distinct musical styles: eclectic anti-establishment, hardcore punk, and rock.

The first band, Below Jupiter, was led by key-tickling front man Josh and drummer Chris. Yes, a two-piece band, and they pulled it off well. Josh’s piano playing is front and center for the band, and he is an outstanding performer. Chris’s drumming style fits perfectly with Josh’s performance abilities, making for a unique sound. The band’s style is hard to describe, even for the band, so they just go with “eclectic”.

Below Jupiter performed songs from their upcoming release, “Saul” as well as other concept-related pieces they have been performing for the last year. Their anti-establishment, anti-forced-religion themes came through loud and clear in their songs, especially “Political Robots”. The band and their sound were, at first, a curiosity to the crowd. However, as they continued to play, you could tell that interest in the band was growing, and the band morphed from “curiosity” into legitimate performers in the eyes of their audience. Keep an eye on these guys as they grow on the indie scene.

The second band rolled in from down the street, or so it seemed. No, wait, they really did! Dead Man’s Curve, from Lakewood, OH, came up to the stage, ready to take prisoners and name names with their no-holds-barred brand of hardcore punk. I was ready to put in my earplugs on the assumption that they would “turn it up to eleven”, but they didn’t. The sound was awesome, their music tight, and you could tell they were having a great time on stage.

This three-piece outfit – starring Jason on guitar and vocals, Mike on bass and vocals, and Dustin on drums – was “on” from the moment they hit the stage. They reminded me of 80s punk, when bands like the Misfits, Social Distortion and Suicidal Tendencies ruled the realm.

The band’s loyal audience was in full force, and showed their appreciation by whooping, hollering and singing along with the band. Dustin’s drumming was crisp, and Mike and Jason put on a great performance. Not just with their playing, but with their antics, gyrations and smirks on stage. They know what they’re doing, and they know how to do it. For all the new fans that bought DMC t-shirts at the gigs, DMC also threw in their demo CD. Awesome!

(Rumor has it a big-time punk band asked Dead Man’s Curve to open for them when they come into Cleveland. Let’s hope DMC gets the props they deserve and are able to do the show.)

As the witching hour approached, it was time for the headliners to take the stage. It had been three years since Pauly left Cleveland to pursue his dream in L.A., and he looks like a good fit with his band mates in Elegantly Wasted – Lenny J. on guitar and vocals, Queen D. (Diana) on guitar and vocals, and guest bassist/vocalist Fred. They have a good chemistry on and off stage, and have similar tastes in music. Can they find that label that understands their talents and sound, the one that would market them so the rest of the world would know what the folks in L.A., Cleveland and Europe already know? Let’s hope so.

EW did not disappoint. They started the night with “Sickhead”, the first song off their new CD, “Desolation Row”, and played most of the songs off that CD. They also threw in a three songs from their first release, “Greetings from a Strange Place”. (You can hear samples of all of their available songs at http://elegantlywasted.net/media.php.)

The show sounded like their earlier rehearsal: crisp, fun, and engaging. Lenny J. had a great rapport with the audience. The gestures and facial expressions he makes while he’s singing help convey the emotion and meaning behind the songs, and draw you into the performance. Diana kicked butt on guitar; she is calm and cool on stage, a great compliment to Lenny’s performance style. Fred and Pauly not only keep the bass and beat going strong, but are two of the most energetic performers I’ve seen in a while. They exemplify chaos under control.

The band threw in a couple curve balls by playing their renditions of “Ring of Fire” and "Rockin’ in a Free World”. They also covered a Bob Dylan tune, but I hope someone comes to my rescue by telling me the name of it.

Since this was Pauly’s homecoming, the band let him have a little fun with his family, friends and co-workers, and begrudgingly (I’m sure) let him own the mic while he rapped all the lines to Beastie Boys anthem “Fight for Your Right”. Before that, though, Pauly had a big surprise for a very important member of the audience. A friend of his and his brother joined the band onstage to play a special rendition of “Tonight, It’s You” by Cheap Trick. The song was dedicated to Pauly’s girlfriend, Brittany, who flew in with her sister, Erin, to see the show. Little did Brittany know the surprise waiting for her at the end of the tune: an engagement ring and a marriage proposal. She was probably the only surprised person in the club, but she said what we all expected her to say: yes. Good times all around!

After Pauly and Brittany had a couple minutes to collect themselves, the band played another cover tune with their friend, Trevor, playing bass, and finished the set with their smoking-hot song, “Too Much, Too Soon”. (A should-be classic, imho.) For an encore, they played “Rockin’ in a Free World”, with a great guitar call and response segment between Lenny and Diana that was a pleasure to watch and hear.

When the show ended, they were all spent, er, I mean “wasted”. They had given the audience their all, and were taking a well deserved break before taking down their equipment. They were readily available after the show, and talked freely to everyone who approached them. Rock stars? Yes, talent wise, but without any of the annoying attitude. It was great to see.

These guys are excellent performers. I could have watched any one of them all night. They all bring different styles to the table, and have different ways of showing off their talents. To watch them do it together, and blend they way they did, was a treat. I wish them all the best, and hope to see them perform again soon.

(cross-posted at my myspace blog)

Disclaimer: Show review does not indicate agreement with some song lyrics or themes.

The Big One, Elizabeth! part 1 (preview of Hi Fi show)

Friday night was the date that many of us have waited for, seemingly for eons. Fresh off its third European tour, the band Elegantly Wasted kicked off its first American tour right here, in greater Cleveland, OH.

If you haven't heard of Elegantly Wasted yet, you must have just crawled out from underneath a rock. This hard hitting quartet recently started its run towards stardom and is starting to get the accolades it deserves. The band rocks the house, the way rock should be played! Each band member is truly a master of their craft. The guitar parts and styles are complimentary, the vocals are on target, and the rhythms are infectious.

No emo crap, no whining and whimpering, no screaming unintelligible lyrics into the defenseless microphone. Their lyrics are easy to understand and tell a good story in each and every song. You will relate, I guarantee it. Why? Because EW is a group of down to earth people, relating experiences like those you and I would have.

At times you will hear influences from Guns and Roses, Alice in Chains, Foo Fighters and others. But your ultimate impression will be that EW carries a distinct sound, style, professionalism and performance ability that are missing from most of today's music.

I was privileged to first see the band two years ago in Hollywood, and again during their rehearsal on Friday afternoon. They were hanging loose, cracking jokes, and getting things ready for their first show with local bands Below Jupiter and Dead Man's Curve at the Hi Fi Club, a rockin' joint in Lakewood, just west of Cleveland. They were definitely ready to go; now, only a mere nine hours until showtime!

more coming soon, stay tuned....

(cross-posted at my myspace blog)

Roller Coaster Week

If you're expecting this post to include the Idiot of the Week Awards, I will sadly disappoint you. There had been so many things going on this last week, that the Awards were not near the top of my priority list. Needless to say, it was a roller coaster week.

It looked something like this:

And went something like this:

• Ups! - asked to play piano accompaniment for a baptism in October.
• Downs - didn't hear back about the baptism during the week. Getting concerned.
• Downs (how low can you go?) - work situations, and their affect on my projects.
  
• Ups! & Downs - running interference before the Elegantly Wasted gig last Friday night. (Everything went great, it was just time consuming.)
  
• Ups! - Bought Tribe tickets for the last home game of the year - could they clinch then?
• Downs - Saturday's Running in Circles gig canceled; the bar double-booked.
  
• Ups! - baptism accompaniment is on! I will learn "Mother's Prayer" by Celine Dion.

• Super Ups! - The Elegantly Wasted concert on Friday night! (separate post on the show coming soon, links to many of their songs here.)

• Triple Super Ups!!! - Brother proposed to his girlfriend at the show, and she said yes!!!
  

• Ups! - Relaxed on Saturday; watched "Back to the Future" with the family.
  
• Ups! - Watched "Oh, Brother, Where Are Thou?" with Marie.
• Downs - Browns defense. Bummer.
• Super Ups!!! - We were at Jacobs Field to watch the Tribe clinch the Central Division Championship! It was awesome.

It was a whirlwind weekend. The gig was great, and I got to see many people I had not seen in years. All the bands did really well, and baby bro's girlfriend had no idea what was happening, when even her sister, best friends, and everyone else on planet earth knew. :-) The Tribe game was the clincher (sorry, had to say it).


BTW...for my New York readers, Elegantly Wasted is coming to Brooklyn, NY tomorrow night! They'll be at The Trash Bar:

256 Grand St.
Brooklyn, NY 11211
Cost : $5

Half Baked

Last night, the Artist went to bed, knowing that the next morning she would be making cinnamon rolls as part of a nutritious breakfast. She was so excited, she woke up at 3:00am, and couldn't go back to sleep. Finally, at 5:30am, she decided to get out of bed and make the rolls. Somehow, she managed to do it without waking up anyone.

The Artist presented the rolls to the family, and served them herself. I bit into mine, and realized they were a little underbaked. Poor girl, in trying her best not to wake up anyone, watched the oven instead of setting a timer. She misjudged a bit, but it was no big deal; we stuck the rolls back in the oven, and - Presto! - in ten minutes, we had fresh baked rolls.

Before that, they were half baked, and needed go back into the oven to finish....kind of like the Cleveland Browns.

There was a football game in Cleveland today, I think. The Steelers showed up, but I think the Browns should have been arrested for impersonating the Michigan Wolverines. :-(

And so it goes, here is our first installment of the Idiot of the Week awards for the 2007-08 football season. Get ready for a bumpy ride.


Win - Charlie Frye - the winner of the quarterback derby managed to get himself demoted by the middle of the second quarter. He missed passes, threw an interception, and made several bad decisions. Not a good showing at all, may fall to third on the depth chart if he is not careful.


Place - Romeo Crennel - the team looked ill-prepared to play. No energy, no emotion. Looks like they never reviewed film of the Steelers defensive schemes. Bad, Romeo, very bad.


Show - Brady Quinn - why? Because he held out. If he must play due to quarterback injury or sheer ineptness, that missed time may become a factor in how much he picks up. I am not a proponent of starting Brady now. However, by week 6 (the Brown's bye week), they may give him the starting position if the season is a loss. That is a possibility.


Honorable Mention - That Stinky Team Up North. Any time Michigan can be embarrassed in two consecutive games, both occurring at their home stadium, the football weekend is not a total loss.




And the rolls turned out yummy. Good recovery, Artist!

Definition Warp

Word: materialism

Definition: (from dictionary.com) Preoccupation with or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations, with a disinterest in or rejection of spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.

Warp: I've heard this term used as defense against a host expecting a guest in their house to respect their property and possessions.

Example: Friends of ours were hosting a family for dinner. After repeated attempts to get the guest's children to be careful - the guests would not do it, you see - the kids finally damaged something. When the host called out the guests for not keeping a close eye on their kids - setting boundaries, respecting what wasn't theirs, etc. - one of the guests told the host that she was materialistic.

How's that? The issue was shifted from one of parental responsibility and discipline to one of materialism.

Let's turn this around...a co-worker of mine who is married, but childless, refuses to let her nieces and nephews have a drink anywhere but the kitchen table or dining room table. She catches grief about it from her family - she cares about her furniture and carpets more than the kids, blah, blah, blah. Funny thing is, it's the only house where the kids know the rules and gladly oblige. And she's the favorite aunt.

Entitlement Mentality

Marie and I were discussing some family-based current events. The kids were completely disinterested in our conversation, but I thought it was important to bring the Artist into it.

She regularly hears the following exclamation from me:

I

HATE

LAZY!!!

(with the dreaded three exclamation points)

I do. I really do. Laziness, to me, is when someone chooses not to do something they are capable of doing, or chooses not to attempt to do something. Rather, they will be content with doing nothing, even if it is a detriment to them to do nothing. Or worse, they will wait until someone else does it for them.

Marie and I stopped our conversation, and I turned to the Artist, asking, "Have you heard of the term 'entitlement mentality'?" She gave that weird, deer in headlights look, and said, "I don't think so". We introduced the concept to her, explaining the concept in terms of money.

Dad: Let's say I gave you money every day. You didn't do anything to deserve it, but I continued to give it to you.

Artist: Okay.

Dad: Then one day, I didn't give it to you. If you are like most people, you would say, "Hey! Where is my money?" You would be expecting it, even though you didn't earn it.

Artist: Oh

Dad: Is that good?

Artist: No

Dad: Well, that is very common. There are people who are either too lazy to do something for themselves, or they find someone who is willing to do it for them. They come to expect the kindness ("charity", "love", pick your word) to continue. And when it doesn't, look out! They will get angry, upset, let you know that you don't care about them anymore, you're not fulfilling your 'responsibility' and all that stuff.

From there, Marie, the Artist and I discussed how this happens in families, in public, and even in churches. People become very comfortable having someone else do something for them, never attempting to do it for themselves yet getting angry with others when those others stop doing for them.

It's bad, spiritually speaking, because people become lazy and envious of others that have more. It's bad, socially speaking, because people harbor inappropriate expectations of their community, their church, and their government (ick - the worst of all!), and spend more time determining what they can get away with instead of how they need to grow.

We were pretty blunt with the Artist. How do you discuss these topics with your children?

Making Scott Proud

Found this article on what to do in the case of a nuclear or terrorist attack.

Scott is our resident survivalist. No, I did not say "wacko", I said "survivalist". Big difference

Crazy Circles

I was going to write a post on child discipline, responsibility, and setting and observing boundaries. Things came up, but the idea stayed in my head. They lingered for so long, that additional stuff based on recent work experiences came to mind. So, the post now focuses on...

CIRCLES

Why circles? Because they explain boundaries, discipline, and responsibility (for children and adults) so well. And, no, I'm not getting all loopy on you. Heh, heh.


Assigning responsibility
When it comes to assigning responsibility or setting boundaries, there are typically two philosophies that people consider. They are:

1. Inherently trust - in this philosophy, trust is granted before any proof is given for it. Boundaries are set out at a distance, and people are given freedom to do what they need to do. But, watch out! If the person who is to work within those boundaries fails regularly, then the boundaries start to restrict. "X" marks the spot, and the concentric circles mark increasing - or, in this case, decreasing - levels of trust and responsibility.2. Inherently distrust - in this philosophy, trust is earned. Boundaries are set tight, but those boundaries are loosened, and other responsibilities accumulated, when the person proves themself worthy. Again, "X" marks the spot.So, what is the best way to raise children? What is the best way to set expectations with employees? Those are difficult questions, and may vary by family and by personality.

In the Quipper household, we tend to use both methods; inherently distrust, but also pull back if we see backtracking for any reason. We give them assignments and other ways to prove that they are trustworthy given their age (i.e. physical and intellectual capabilities). If they pass the tests, then the boundaries expand. This expansion may be in the form of new freedoms or increased responsibility. If the children repeatedly prove that they can't handle existing responsibilities, even though they had succeeded before, we may pull back.

I have watched parents who inherently trust, and never pull back. This frustrates me because it looks more often as being done out of laziness than out of any plan on the part of the parents. With some parents, I never see an attempt to explain failure or disappointment to their kids, or to pull back (i.e. discipline) when repeated failure occurs.

At the office, though, an even different type of responsibility change can occur. Some core responsbilities may no longer fall into the expectations of an employee's current role. It looks something like this, where beginning responsibilities are replaced by newer responsibilities:I have seen this happen when senior programmers actually no longer do programming; instead, "programmer" is just part of the title, but the employee has different responsibilities. These responsibilities may include mentoring less accomplished programmers, reviewing their work, or designing new computer systems.

In the "job" of life, however, there are some responsibilities, or core values, that should never leave a child's or adult's area of responsibility. At least, I would hope not.


Taking care of business

The same two philosophies apply at the office, too. Recently, a new computer programmer was assigned to one of my projects. I am not his supervisor, but have to give him some direction relative to the tasks assigned to him. I quickly came to realize that his boss inherently trusted him on many fronts, and I found that the programmer was not as accomplished as was first thought.

I normally set expectations and grant trust first, but this scenario is making me rethink my position. Things aren't always as they appear, and it's better to play it safe than sorry. It's not that the "kid" is incapable; we expected too much of him, yet he hadn't been put in a position to prove himself. I have seen this in the past, and have even caused the situation a number of times. I've concluded that I'd rather put someone in a position to prove themself than set them up to fail.

Growing up and job promotions

How does this all apply to children that have been granted some freedoms and responsibilities, and to employees who believe they are ready to "move on" to a better job position? There are similarities here again, but there are also differences.

Promotions are a little more difficult to work with. Again, there are two philsophies: you promote someone into a position they've already proven they can do, or you promote into a position because there is nothing else for the person to prove in their current position. Trust me, they are not the same. Just because someone hits the ceiling in their current position does not mean they can handle things at the next level.

Promotions usually look like this:
You typically retain some of your current duties, but gain a whole new set of responsibilities. You also dispose of some of your prior responsibilities, as shown by the greyed and blacked out circles.

With our children, I don't see a "promotion" per se. As I mentioned earlier, there are some core responsibilities that never leave the child once they start growing up and earning more freedoms and responsibilities. So, with our children, I see more concentric circles emanating from the core, and not a situation where the center circle shifts.

I have learned valuable lessons in fatherhood, and recently during this employee situation. For me, at least, it is better for me to set solid expectations with my employees, start them on easily manageable responsibilities, and let them work up to more difficult responsibilities and greater freedoms. I expend more effort on a daily basis, but resolve problems quicker and give my staff a chance to succeed. At home, I start with tight boundaries, but expand them as my children pass those little tests that prove they are ready for more freedom and responsibility.

Baby Bro's New CD

Hey all,

The following is an e-mail I received from my brother. I urge you all to check out the first link, especially if you like 2-guitar rock. You can hear a two-minute snippet of each song; once you link to the cd/wasted2 link, the left-hand side links you two the song previews.

Hello everyone!

Just leaving an awesome update.

My Band ELEGANTLY WASTED has now officially released our new CD "Desolation Row".

It is available at:

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/wasted2

Or you can just go to www.cdbaby.com and type Elegantly Wasted or Desolation Row in the search bar.

CD baby will also be distributing to iTunes, but it will take about 30 days before it is up on iTunes.

I do appreciate all the support. CDbaby is registered with sound scan, so any purchase through CDbaby shows up on all music generated reports as well as through ASCAP. It is the equilavlent (to the artist) of going to buy the CD at Best Buy, with the exception - it's not Best Buy.

However, we are in the process of working on that too though.

Also, we are heading back out of the country this Thursday for 10 in Germany and Switzerland. The shows we played there in March/April went so well that we were asked to do 3 summer festivals.

We plan on doing a US tour in September right now. I do not know the exact cities, but we will be stopping/playing in Cleveland!

Again thank you for your interest and support!

I'm excited for him. Please support him if you can.

And You Thought the "New Math" Was Bad

When this is what publik skoul considers education, it's time to move on. I am so glad that we homeschool our children.

The teachers are lemmings, too. Sad.

Saturday Morning Wake Up Call

Ah, Saturday mornings. Saturday is the one day I can usually count on sleeping in. (Recognize that "sleeping in" usually means I wake up before 8am.) But, alas, my son is taking after my brother in redefining the "alarm clock".

In high school, I worked in a tavern as a busboy. I would work on Friday nights until midnight. My brother didn't really care - and if you're reading this, bro, you may not remember this - and would end up using his alarm clock to wake me up some time shortly after 8:30am on Saturday. Here's what the "alarm clock" looked like:


A musician needs to practice, after all. :-)

My son, the Engineer, is following in his footsteps, sort of. Because he has asthma, like me, and because his bedroom is on the first floor, we have a monitor set up in his room so we can listen for problems. The monitor also picks up anything else going on...like the piano he was playing at 7:30 this morning.

I unplugged the monitor. Didn't help; he definitely knows what it means to play forte instead of piano.

So much for sleeping in this morning. At least we know he likes the instrument.

W.I.P.

I'm so excited! I am preparing 4-6 posts that are chock full of great commentary, rhetoric and wit.

I'm having trouble finishing all of them. I don't know if spring fever hit me, the nickel-and-dime home improvements consumed me, or the truly new and exciting challenges at work enveloped me. Regardless, my posts are in varying states of completion - from having an outline to tying up loose ends.

Lotsa input...no output.

Is anyone else going through this right now?

American, and Proud of It

On three separate occasions over the last three days, I tried writing a post on the Virginia Tech situation. Each time, I couldn't get the right words out. My frustrations with politicians, the press and political advocates all made my blood boil over; I almost wrote things I wouldn't want my kids to read.

Watching academic know-it-alls make a quick transmogrification to ostriches has left me speechless. If you don't know what I mean here, imagine people living in a bubble, evangelizing about how perfect everything is. Then, someone breaks their protective bubble, and they continue to act as if the bubble is still there. You know, it's like they are saying, "Move along, there's nothing to see here, this isn't really happening. One day you'll wake up and see this was all a bad dream." Update, 4/19: my point here was aptly proved tonight by the academics in question.

I've seen Democrats cannibalize their own because not all of their issues are created equal - racism trumps free speech. I've seen Republicans not do anything while their enemies grab the spotlight. I watched the Supreme Court finally declare that murder IS murder, and that a baby half-delivered IS human and does have rights. I watched "moderate" Democrat presidential candidates decry the ruling, even though all but eight Senators voted for the partial birth abortion ban when it was a Senate bill.

Rumor on the local street is that my favorite communist in Democrat's clothing - Dennis Kucinich - is going to propose a bill that is tantamount to obliterating all handgun commerce in the U.S. I'm sure that Rocco, Guido, Ishmael and Mohammed are all shaking in their shoes, as is 50 Cent.

From all looks, the U.S. is going to hell in a handbasket. I said as much myself a couple of days ago.

You get the sense that this is an exponential growth in problems, that everything is spinning out of control. I won't argue with you. I hate it.

What are you doing about it?

What am I doing about it?

First, I am being an American. Not a scared American. Not one that will turn my back when someone who points a gun at me tells me to. I'm being a Proud American. I'm talking to my 10-yo Artist, who is old enough to start understanding this stuff, about what is happening and about what America stands for. Heaven knows, I need to teach her about right and wrong, truth and lies, morals and boundaries, because no one in any public institution will.

Second, I am exercising my rights as succinctly expressed in the Bill of Rights. Yes, all of them that I personally, at this time in my life, can exercise. All of them.

Third, I am raising my family by setting the example for them. Outsiders need not apply. I will gladly refute each and every point made over the airwaves. I will not turn off the TV or radio and act as though these problems don't exist. They do, and we need to talk about them in our household. Academics raise their children in a bubble; Proud Americans do not.

Fourth, I am setting active, strong, peaceful resistance to the status quo. I am not ranting for the sake of expending my hot air. I am making my voice heard within my sphere of influence, albeit a small one for now. I am checking under each rock, looking into the sky, listening closely. I am, as I explain to the Artist, being aware of my surroundings. This means knowing what scenarios I am walking into, what the goal is, the options for achieving victory or success, and the exit strategies. Sports teams fight for victory. So do politicians and businesses. I do, too.

I am a Proud American. I will stand up for myself, my family and my rights. If you won't, then get out of my way.

Turn this thing around
I will not go quietly
I will not back down
I will not go quietly
I Will Not Go Quietly, Don Henley

Seven Feet, Six Inches

Sunday, March 25
Sixty-something degrees
Sunny skies
No precipitation

That's the perfect recipe for bringing out the basketballs and shooting hoops in the backyard. Good times all around. (No pics; I was too busy having fun, too.)

In order for the kids to have a chance at making baskets, we have the hoop set at the lowest setting, 7.5 feet. Just high enough for the kids to make baskets, and low enough for a few blog-friends to slam dunk the basketball and make fools of ourselves.

The Artist started by practicing her dribbling and shooting layups - a hard-to-comprehend concept for her, still, but she is improving.

The Engineer used the new kickball, and for the first time made a basket all by himself. The smile on his face was beautiful to see.

Good times all around. And it's only March. :-)

Diversity Training

Mrs. Quipper and I are persons of color.

You don't believe me? Then you haven't been to our house...








































For all of you homeowners that love whitewashed walls, this will give you a change of scenery without giving you a heart attack...I hope. Heh, heh.