Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Culling the Herd

Groups, organizations, and "things" that I think should be know, made to experience the losing side of Darwin's "survival of the fittest":

  • Rinos. No, not Rhinos, but R.I.N.O.s (Republicans In Name Only).
  • Major league steroid users
  • The anti-gun crowd
  • The euthanasia crowd. I've always been partial to the youth in Europe.
  • Treason sympathizers - did you hear that, NYT?
  • Teletubbies and Boobahs
  • Any show starring an actor or actress from Seinfeld or Friends
  • All 'Big Brother' type shows
  • Anything dealing with Willie Wonka or freaky characters in Highlights (including the Michael-Jackson-wannabe Willie Wonka played by Johnny Depp - ick!).
  • The Wiggles
  • NOW, GLAAD, and any other gender pseudo-rights group out there
  • Wolves in sheep's clothing in the LCMS. Just say "closed communion", and they will identify themselves. It's probably the easiest baiting mechanism in the recorded history of hunting.
  • The global warming intelligensia
  • Any Monty Python move that is not 'Holy Grail' or 'Life of Brian'
  • Saturday Night Live after Phil Hartman
  • Any movie starring Rob Schneider
  • Anyone who thinks Julia Roberts is a good actress. Heck, throw in Hollywood, too.
  • Anchovies, brussell sprouts, and chicken livers, just for good measure (sorry, hon).
  • Earthlink (I lost my connection five times while trying to post this. Change that, six times. Seven. Eight. IX. X. Grrr!)
Your goal - identify the most creative baiting method for each group. Winners will not be added to the culling list. Just kidding, they will be added. Actually, no one responding will be added. And, no, that doesn't mean that non-respondents will be added. (I better stop before I get into trouble.)


Marie N. said...

....too much time on my hands
la la la la la lal a la
I've got tooooo much
Time on my hands....

Sorry hon, that just came to mind when I read your very entertaining post. It reminded me of how much we do have in common, baseball and food excepted.

I'd like to thin the ranks of:
rent-a-mob protesters

Election workers who mob the path to the door of my voting location

Those who work to "identify" (read "create") new so-called diseases in the psychology manuals and thereby normalize and protect deviant behaviors.

Presbytera said...

Wolves in sheep clothing in the LCMS are called L.I.N.O s. You can see why!

Sorry Quipper, I never met a brussel sprout I didn't like: )

To be added to the list...anyone who starts a sentence with "That may be true for you but"

KrazyinBrooklyn said...

You said it all except,the Wiggles they are fun for the kids. And Rob Schnider, what is wrong with him? And like I said you said it all so I can't add anything.

Barb the Evil Genius said...

In the 18 months Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane hit the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

Emily said...

*runs in circles crying*

Barb the Evil Genius said...

The Wiggles are not bad, for kiddie entertainment. Much, much better than the evil purple dinosaur who shall not be named.

Baiting global-warming morons. Walk around spraying a can of hairspray. Better yet, set the spray on fire.

Baiting steroids users: Go to a baseball game dressed as a giant juice box. Not my idea.

LuvGlock said...

I hope you weren't including the Flying Circus. Since you said any MP movie, I'll put the best construction on it and believe you like the Flying Circus.

Oh, and for the evil genius:
I love you, you love me
let's hang Barney from a tree
with a shotgun BANG BANG
Barney hits the floor,
no more purple dinosour.

Quipper said...

I add to my own list: people who know they are perfect.

Bait: tell them they're wrong. Better yet, just say anything, and they'll let you know you're wrong.

Favorite Apron said...

How about:

-people who use the word "signage."
The bait -- put them on a committee

-people who are claim to be Lutheran but are actually Methobapticostal
The bait - propose a crucifix for the sanctuary.

-people who say "we shouldn't judge . . "
The bait - state the truth about something.

Scottius Maximus said...

LOL, the Quipper.

Actually, you don't even need bait, for those on the list are quite stupid enough to walk right up to you.

But let's do add FIFA, the NCAA and the BCS.

And while you're at it, how about any organization with a lame acronym.

Scott said...

Brussels Sprouts ROXX0rs!!!!!!!ONE ONE Eleven!!

Scott said...

Herd to Cull:
The media

The Bait:
Start a war. Look for pictures and stories about the poor downtrodden children of the aggressor's group.
ex: "Poor Assam will never get to realize his dream of blowing himself up in a crowded New York subway..."

Herd to Cull:
Government Teet Suckers

The Bait:
Popular Republican subsidies that "don't do enough..."

Quipper said...


You said "Republican subsidies". That's enough cursing on my blog!!!


Scott said...

I said Repulican Subsidies.

Wouldn't it be nice if that were an oxymoron??

These folks don't have subsidies.

By the way..."I TOLD YOU SO!"

Quipper said...


I know, I know. I actually took the time to read everything on their site. Pretty convincing. I may become a "3rd party" man for the next presidential election. I could say more, but that would kill the opportunity for both of us to write about 100 posts.