Thursday, July 27, 2006

Truth In Advertising

Church marquees I'd like to see:

  • "It would be nice to have your soul, but we'll settle for your money"
  • "Half of the sincerity, and none of the comfort"
  • "We dilute the gospel to keep you in attendance"
  • "We don't wear vestments, we wear sheep's clothing"
  • "We don't need no stinkin creeds"
and, drum roll please:
  • "We don't believe in preaching about sin"
Any to add???

10 comments:

Favorite Apron said...

Yesterday, on an ELCA church, I saw "Java with Jesus - 9 am!"

Who wants to miss that??!!

Barb the Evil Genius said...

"Saint X Country Club"

KrazyinBrooklyn said...

Bands in church now there's a good one.

Favorite Apron said...

How about :
"Let Us Entertain You."

Marie N. said...

Oh Polly, I love Gypsy! I can hear it now. Where are my old 45s now...

Sir Darth Merlin Bilbollum Finn said...

Dedicated to public school, "Just find a way to jump through hoops, so you get a good grade. You don't need to learn anything."

Des_Moines_Girl said...

How about...

"Come reflect on your faith. Whatever you believe, we'll reflect it back to you - it's all good!"

And one from National Lampoon's Radio Hour...

"Light your faith and you can light the world. Set fire to a church of your choice."

*snicker!*

Quipper said...

Aaron - happy 18th birthday!

DMG - this little light of mine, Ima gonna let it shine...(just shoot me now)

Marie, honey dearest - remind me not to play you in Trivial Pursuit, Theatre edition. You'll pummel me every time.

romans828 said...

this is one we saw today in wadsworth.
"what on earth are you doing for heaven's sake?

Quipper said...

Um, er, fulfilling my vocations, I hope.
{sigh}