Selfish Desires

To: The Cleveland Indians
From: Quipper
Subject: Clinching the playoffs

Dear Cleveland Indians,

As a lifelong fan of you, my hometown team, I am excited that the team is ever-so-close to clinching the Central Division pennant. I have waited a decade for this to happen. I remember the Tribe-Mariners series in 2001, when Robbie Alomar didn't give his all and potentially caused us to lose the series to Seattle. I watched the 1995 and 1997 World Series, heartbroken but not crushed. I watched Mark Shapiro trade Bartolo Colon, but knew it was the right thing to do. Others complained, but I bought into the plan.

I strayed slightly last year, seeing that the whole package wasn't there. It was not hangover from the season ending meltdown in 2005; I liked the team, but something just didn't seem right.

This year is different. There have been points of frustration, but I kept on listening. The family even afforded to attend one game this year. Our 5-yo boy got to see Jacobs Field for the first time. We had fun watching our first baseman bat, having great call-response fun with "Garko!"..."Polo!" I eagerly await the reduction of the Magic Number from three to zero, and anticipate celebrating that success with my family.

However, I have an issue. You see, as much as I want you to clinch this weekend, my band, Running in Circles, has a gig on Saturday night. We are supposed to start at 10pm. The locale is a very popular watering hole, and has televisions set up all over the place so patrons can watch the home team play, no matter what the sport.

In these situations, the bars usually delay the start of the gig until the game is over. Knowing how this works, I imagine that, if you clinch on Saturday night, we won't start until 11:30, maybe midnight, because of all the celebrating. I won't be at home, and won't be able to celebrate with my family.

In conclusion, seeing how (mostly) loyal I have been to you, can you please do me a favor and not clinch until Sunday? Your consideration would be most appreciated.

Thank you. Go Tribe, but don't go too quickly.

{snicker}


Update: they got my memo. Ha ha! :-)