America's Drug of Choice

Opium. Actually, O.P.M. - Other People's Money.

It's the rage among the rich and poor, private and public organizations, political and apolitical types alike. What else would cause churches to have bingo, day care, and pre-school? How else would government - at any level - survive?

Local governments are entitled by state and federal governments; same for states to the fed. Both major political parties race to entitle more people, all for votes. Called missionaries are required to focus on fundraising instead of preaching the gospel. It's still all opium; what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine, but I should give of yours and keep my own.

"Money, it's a hit. Don't give me that do goody, good ...."
Pink Floyd, Money

The Quipper, in a foul mood and needing to deliver a drive-by rant.

Song vs. Song, round 1

So, for all of you who used to listen to top 40 music, and still must do so thanks to your kids, we have round 1 of "Song vs. Song". Why? Because they are two of the new songs that Running In Circles is practicing for upcoming gigs.

Old Song: Play That Funky Music, circa 1976.

New Song: Let's Get It Started, circa 2004. (Warning, video is PG to R)

Who is the winner (based on song only, not video)?

Pimping the Bible for liberal causes

After seeing this, I had to double-dip on the blog today. Disgusting.

And, nonetheless, breaking the law to make their point (from Michelle Malkin)

Which Sport Is Better?

Tough call between Scoreless Soccer and Calvinball.

My choice: scoreless soccer. Why? Kids learn the fundamentals of an international sport, are supervised, and don't worry about winning or losing. The problems with Calvinball are that the rules are constantly changing without your knowledge, and you can belittle your opponent. Absolutely unwanted in this society.

The Quipper

The Quipper Picker Upper

"Before marriage, man is incomplete; after marriage, he is __________. " Reference unknown

All kidding aside -

God knew exactly what he was doing when he paired me with Mrs. Quipper at the altar of Christ Lutheran Church on May 25, 1991. After fifteen years of marriage and plenty of first-hand experience, it is easy to understand why she is my lifelong, committed soulmate, and that no one else would do.

While it may be true that opposites attract, I would say we have more in common than opposed - musical preferences, fine foods, and beverage choices aside. She patiently waited for me to mature from boy to man, and I came to understand and appreciate her elegance and tastes. I greatly marvel at her ability to raise two polar-opposite children yet keep her sanity, and still deal with me as I rant about events at work and other in-the-big-picture-of-things trivialities.

Thank you, Mrs. Quipper, for fifteen great years. I am excited and thankful to be approaching the next fifteen years - with all their hopes, dreams and unknowns - with you by my side.

The Quipper.

The Boys of Summer

Hope springs eternal twice during the baseball season. First, on opening day. Second, when a phenom is brought up from the minors for the first time to start in their first major league game. The anticipation of seeing the whiz-bang superstar in the making gives us all hope.

The Tribe brought up Jeremy Sowers from the AAA league Buffalo team, and his first start is today. Sports pundits have been asking for weeks why this had not happened already. The kid was lights out in AAA, and deserves his chance in the majors. With the season starting to sound like a big flushing sound, maybe he can at least bring back some excitement.

Go Tribe! Go Jeremy!!!

Time Out!

No, you're not in trouble. Neither am I. And I don't need to replace the starting pitcher - C.C., where were you last night? - slow down the other team, or prepare for a game losing field goal. (Yes, I know what I said there.)

It's time for a little R&R. Just Mr. and Mrs. Quipper, sans kids, off to the Columbus area, for wine tasting, horse riding and laughs.

Now, for the question you didn't know was coming (parents, drag your kids into this one for a little summer math fun):
My age is a product of three prime numbers
The sum of which
When subtracted from my age
Is one more than the number of years we've been married.

So, how long have we been married? (Mrs. Quipper is not allowed to answer or give clues.)

Which is why we're getting out of Dodge for the weekend - we're celebrating our anniversary, four weeks late. I'm sure pics and stories will soon follow after we return.

Have a great weekend everyone!
The Quipper

I say "White American"...

...you say?

(My actual response in a day, or two, or five.)

The Quipper

Creating Memories

So, my 9-yo daughter (the Artist) sets her alarm to the local "Mix" rock station, and listens to it as she falls asleep. Last night, as I gave her a good night visit, the song "Melt With You" was playing.

What did I remember? The fun times I had in school? Certain friends from "back in the day"? How Reagan was "destroying" the country? (Don't you know, all good libs remember how Republican politicians were killing their idealist fantasies.)

No. I was remembering a few weeks back, watching and listening to the Artist and her 4-yo brother (the Engineer) dance around the living room, singing "I'll stop the world and melt with you...let's stop the world."

Now, in the car, they sing other songs that I practice for my band, making up their own words where they believe they fit.

Watching your kids have fun...priceless.

Selfish Benevolence

I rightfully admit it. I am selfish, and try to do what's best for me in everything I do. Not consciously, necessarily, but still looking to do things for my benefit. But I figure I'm not alone. (I believe that's a condition of the fall of man.)

From the girl who teaches her little brother how to play a game - which just so happens to be her favorite game - to the soup kitchen volunteer, to the manager who is "just trying to better his team", there is always something in it for the doer.

How many times can we truly say we have done something solely for the betterment of others, without us receiving any benefit whatsoever?

Sing along, everybody:
I'm self-centered
he's self-centered
she's self-centered
we're self-centered
wouldn't you like to be self-centered, too!

The Quipper

What's Wrong With These Pictures?

Nothing...absolutely nothing!

The Quipper

Trying To Find Yourself?

Stop. I found you. You're sitting in front of your computer.

When I hear people say this, it usually means "people that don't know me or care about me have told me my life is meaningless."

I have the remedy:
1) Turn off the TV
2) Turn off the radio
3) Turn off the music (yes, a musician said to turn off the music)
4) Do what you do best with or for someone who appreciates it.

It's amazing how quickly you'll find yourself.

The Quipper

Why use my own words, when someone has already said it well

I saw this first at Scottius Maximus. If it doesn't say it all....

"Meet the Bible-believing liberals. While they believe that the culture needs to return to its historic traditions, they think the church needs to abandon hers. While maintaining that the Flag should be proudly displayed, they fear that a cross at church might offend seekers. While they believe men and women have defined roles in marriage and family, they don't see why a woman can't replace a man in the pulpit. While outraged that our schools cater to the lowest-common denominator, they think our churches need to be geared to the unchurched. They believe that public policy should be based on objective facts, but preaching should be based on felt needs. They want "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, but omit the Apostles' Creed from the Sunday service. They want the Ten Commandments in the public square, but are unconcerned when those commandments are replaced with "principles for living" from the pulpit. To the Bible-Believing liberal, ceremonies of a Presidential inauguration are meaningful and inspiring, but the Sunday morning liturgy is boring. For the Bible-believing liberal, the differences between political parties are serious, but the differences between Christian denominations are petty. While they insist on a strict literal interpretation of the US Constitution, they play fast and loose with the Bible and its theology, even while maintaining its inerrancy and inspiration. These are the Bible-believing liberals."--- Taken From ISSUES, ETC. 2005

Climate change

I woke up this morning,
got ready for work....

I turned on the only good morning radio program in the city so I could get "traffic & weather on the 10s". What did I hear? 59 degrees by the lake, up to low 70s for the day - a good 5-6 degrees below normal temperatures.

Thank God for global warming...who knows how cold we'd be without it?

The Quipper

Kicking and Screaming

My name is the Quipper, and I have a problem. I have entered the realm of blogdom kicking and screaming, after telling my wife a mere month ago that I would never do this.

Why, you ask? Is it because I have something to say? Is it because I am some well-known keeper of worldly wisdom? Is it because my favorite e-mail groups dried up when the main participants - including my family members and friends - started blogging? Is it my raw talent in the area of...wait a minute, rewind to the e-mail group question. THAT'S IT!!!

My topics will vary, and may give my view or an alternate perspective to gauge your reaction. I may not tell you which is which, either. I maintain a positive outlook, but will occasionally post a rant-o-gram. The posts will be sporadic at worst, and short at best, without a specified frequency; hence, the title and subtitle of the blog.

So, why not make this the spot to get your quip fix?

Enjoy!